Dear Classmates, Please Don't Read This Letter Just Pass it On

Hi everyone. I know we are only in grade one, but please show some restraint and don't read this letter unless your name is Amy.

You read that correctly. If your name isn't Amy just fold this back up and hide it in your tiny fist and pass it to whoever sits in the desk in behind you.

For you Brad, that would be Heather. Just pass it to her. It's easy. Everyone else should follow suit.

If you are at the end of a column of desks, I kindly ask that you quietly stand up and walk to the front of the next column of desks. I know this might not seem fair. But this is one of the only downsides to sitting where you sit. At least you don't have (Jamie don't read this, just pass it on okay) Jamie kicking the back of your chair and sneezing on the back of your neck ALL day long. So just be grateful and walk the note to the next column of desks. ***See drawing on back of note if you don't understand what a column is.

It is VERY IMPORTANT that Mrs. Kindly DOES NOT read or become aware of the existence of this letter. If it is in your hand and she makes direct eye contact with you, please take the necessary steps to DESTROY IT. Here you may take creative liberties. I don't care if you cover it in glue and bathe it in pencil shavings, or (TONY PASS IT ON) eat it like we all know Tony would, or (KYLE, KYLA, and LIAM you should pass this on) if you are Kyle, Kyla or Liam you could steal the note and deny it even though everyone knows mechanical pencils do not dissolve and you guys seem to have a lot of them - pretend the note is a mechanical pencil should Mrs. Kindly see you with it.

Quick aside. In a class of 18, I find the number of pencil stealers to be a bit outrageous. That's a ratio of 1:6 for thieves and non-thieves. Maybe we need our own system for keeping our pencils safe? Something to think about as you PASS THIS ON and DO NOT READ.

This might seem excessive, but it is for the safety of all of us, that you pass this ratty piece of construction paper on. Remember how your parents told you to have a good day today. Well. Pass this on, and maybe you will. I don't like threats, but if Amy doesn't receive this UNREAD, I WILL leave tiny bags of STRAIGHT GRANULATED SUGAR in the bottom of your backpacks and let your parents take it from there. Sugar? In your backpack? Sounds like a grounding in the making. But all of this is avoidable if you just PASS THIS ON.

Let me try another tactic, in case your curiosity be so difficult to suspend: Please, pretty please pass this note on, he he, it would mean the world to my tiny little heart, he he he. Satisfied?

DO NOT READ.

PASS. IT. ON.

AMY this is for you. THE REST OF YOU MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND HAVE A LITTLE RESPECT AND MAYBE ONE DAY YOU WILL RECEIVE A NOTE OF YOUR OWN. THAT DAY IS NOT TODAY. PASS IT ON.

Hi Amy,

wut r u doing this resess ? want to rent a skipping ripe? Also I think we should kill Mrs. Kindly (EDITORS NOTE:THIS ISNT REAL)  together. Let me know

-Jordanne