Hey sweetheart, no one liked your tweet and that’s sort of okay

Heyyyy. 

Yeah I am talking to you unfortunately. You tweeted and it's not going well… I won’t sugar coat it, you basically screamed to the world “HEY! I THINK THIS IS GOOD” and “THIS TWEET IS A REPRESENTATION OF MY SOUL” 

And I liked it! I mean I didn’t actually *like* it because I didn’t really want to be the only one, but I did enjoy it!  

But let’s think, maybe no one has seen it yet.  It’s breakfast time so everyone is too focused on cooking their eggs the way the like them to check on your tweet. In other parts of the world it’s lunch time - making a sandwich takes focus, tomatoes are slippery. And in other other parts of the world it must be supper time. It’s true a watched pot never boils, but they must be watching the pot anyway, otherwise you simply wouldn’t be in this situation.

Think of it this way: You don’t like every tweet you see, right? And you don’t hate those people who’s tweets you don’t like, right? Well…. that’s just you and this isn’t that. This is more likely a sign that society has decided to push you aside. They want you to *Homer into hedge gif*.

If you have a box of valuables under your bed this may be a good time to wrap it up in a handkerchief, tie it to a stick and walk out of your town for good. 

Of course you can’t hitchhike your way away from it, because you sent it to everyone! To anyone! To @Rihanna and @BillNyetheScienceGuy and @everyoneyouwenttoelementaryschoolwith.

…………………You are really good at making toast, remember that. It’s not all bad!

Maybe it doesn’t matter at all! Haha, see no wait, it’s actually fine! Most of your family doesn’t have twitter, they still love you. And it’s sunny outside, you could go for a walk! Hell, you could go for a run! (Joking) The birds outside are chirping just the same as they were half an hour ago before you publicly e-pantsed yourself. The sun will rise again tomo—*gasp* you have a notification. F the sun. 

I liked it for you. :) Yeah no sorry, I don’t really retweet unless I love love it.